32 Pieces of Real Advice for First-Time Parents from Experienced Moms

My great-grandmother always said, "Babies need air," meaning that they should go outside every day. I'm not sure if there is any science behind this (she also told me that I'd get kidney stones from sitting on cold pavement), but when I did have a baby, I made a point of going outside every day even if it was just a walk around the block or sitting on the porch.

Looking back, this simple routine helped me more than my kids. It gave me purpose during the blur of 24/7 newborn care and helped set their internal clocks. She was onto something.

I asked experienced parents what advice they wish they'd received as first-timers. The responses were honest, practical, and reassuring – the kind of wisdom you won't find in baby books.

What you'll learn:

How to manage unrealistic expectations in the early weeks
Real talk about sleep deprivation and when it gets better
Signs of postpartum depression that doctors might miss
Why comparing your baby to others sets you up for stress
Permission to prioritize survival over perfection

32 Pieces of Advice from Experienced Parents
These insights come from parents who've survived the newborn phase and want you to know what actually matters.

Adjust Your Expectations Early

1. Every phase is temporary "Whatever phase they are going through will be over eventually!" – Ciarra

The sleepless nights, the constant crying, the feeding struggles – none of it lasts forever. When you're in hour three of trying to soothe a screaming baby, it feels endless. It's not.

2. Let go of perfection "Everything is only temporary. You may not love every minute and that's ok. Let go when you can. Do what you can and don't beat yourself up over what you can't. Do what works for you!" – April

3. Your plan will change "Be prepared for your best intentions and plans to go out the window! Maybe breastfeeding will work for you, maybe it won't. Same goes for your pregnancy, birth plan, baby sleep... What you picture and reality may be very different, and if you can alter your expectations beforehand, it'll be so much easier." – Susan

I learned this firsthand. I had elaborate plans for how everything would go. My babies had other ideas.

4. Each baby is different "I know this is meant for first-time mothers, but I wish someone had told me my second child would not be the same as the first. Intellectually, I knew, but I can't help responding like they were the same baby. They're different; so is what comforts them, makes them smile, etc. It's worth stating the obvious." – Justine

Sleep Will Return (Eventually)

5. You will sleep again "You will sleep again eventually." – Sharon

Mark these words. In month two when you've forgotten what REM sleep feels like, remember this promise.

6. It's okay to step away "It's okay to put the baby down and cry in the other room when you've hit an exhaustion level you never thought possible." – Christin

A crying baby in a safe space (like a crib) for five minutes while you collect yourself is better than a parent at their breaking point.

7. Forget the schedule myths "Babies aren't supposed to sleep through the night, they're not supposed to eat every three hours on the dot, and there is no magic formula to make them hold to a schedule. Take each day as it comes." – Audra

8. Use nap time wisely "My husband's best advice is – never do anything when the baby is asleep that you could do when they are awake. Simple, but so helpful in terms of prioritizing during precious nap time!" – Melissa

Your Emotions Will Be Intense

9. Hormones hit hard "The post birth hormones are intense. You might cry simply because the store is out of Greek yogurt and that's ok. Sleep deprivation in the early months is as bad as people say, but like all things with a baby, it won't last forever! And the love you will feel for baby is like nothing you've ever felt before." – Anna

10. The love is overwhelming "The love is overwhelming. It's a love so big, it hurts." – Dani

11. Postpartum depression is real and often missed "Postpartum depression is real! And really scary! And even knowing it, and trying to reach out for help, it was brushed under the rug by my doctor twice. I loved my doctor, but sometimes it's not just 'baby blues' or 'you'll adjust'... Sometimes you need more than that and that's ok too. Be honest with yourself about your wellbeing, and be honest with your partner/spouse/best friend/doctor – even the scary stuff!" – Lauren

12. Baby blues do end "The baby blues are a son of a bitch, that feel like they will never end, and then they end." – Danielle

13. The irritation is temporary "The irrational irritation that you feel for your pets and partner is just temporary and probably caused by hormones and sleep deprivation. It will pass, don't kill them." – Jessy

14. Bonding takes time for some parents "It's okay if you don't bond with your baby/babies right away. It can take time, and it's normal. (No one ever told me, and I felt like an awful mom for the first four months.)" – Kristin

This was my experience with my first. The instant connection I expected didn't happen. It developed over weeks, and now I can't imagine life without him. You're not broken if it takes time.

Trust Yourself Over Everyone Else

15. You know your baby best "Ignore anyone who tries to make you feel anything but awesome. You will know what's best, or, you will know how to find the answer that works for you and your baby." – Ashley

16. Ignore the judgment "Everyone is going to give you advice.... breast is best, tummy time, etc. screw it all. Do what's best for you and your family and trust your gut. F the mommy guilt. The first year is all about survival." – Kat

17. You'll figure it out "That you will figure it out, even if you have NO CLUE what you are doing. You will!" – Michele

Nobody feels ready. That's the secret no one tells you.

18. Doubt doesn't mean failure "You will have moments where you are overwhelmed, where you may question your abilities. You will be tired and consider (even briefly) waving the white flag. It doesn't mean you are, or will be, a bad parent. It doesn't mean you don't love your child. It's okay to have these feelings – do not dwell on them. They are fleeting and this too shall pass." – Laura

Understanding Your Baby

19. Work with, not against "Work WITH your baby, not against it. Saves a lot of frustration and stress." – Kirsten

Fighting your baby's natural rhythms creates misery for everyone. If your baby is a night owl, adjust for now.

20. Crying doesn't always mean something's wrong "Babies cry. This sounds crazy but I always felt like if my baby was crying I was doing something wrong. Sometimes they just need to let off steam." – Brittney

21. You can't spoil a newborn "There is no such thing as 'bad habits' – give your baby whatever it is asking for. You can't spoil a baby." – Jennifer

22. Sudden diaper leaks mean size up "If you find your baby's diapers are always leaking suddenly, it's probably time to go up a size." – Sarah

This practical tip saved me countless outfit changes.

Feeding Your Baby

23. Formula is not failure "Biggest wish I knew was that formula is not poison. I had a low breast milk supply so my baby not gaining weight and waited WAY too long to just get over it and use formula. We are doing much better now." – Melissa

A fed baby is the goal. The method matters far less than you've been told.

Stop Comparing

24. Your baby is on their own timeline "Really really really try hard not to compare your baby's milestones to others or let others compare their baby to yours. 'My baby sleeps 12 hours a night and goes poop on command!' Your baby is great and perfect and will sleep too (someday)." – Jessica

Delete the baby apps if it makes you track milestones obsessively. Leave the online baby groups where parents humble-brag about their "perfect" sleepers.

Take Care of Yourself

25. Your recovery matters "Don't overlook your own recovery. You spend so much time planning for the baby, don't forget that you need to be taken care of too." – Ashley

26. Date night can wait "Don't feel like you need to do an official 'date night' if you don't feel like it. My husband and I just wanted to sit on the couch and watch tv after bedtime. Plus, the logistics of a babysitter just added to my to-do list." – Kaitlyn

27. Accept help and lower standards "Hold them, watch them sleep, let the laundry pile up, hire a cleaning person to come in occasionally, order take out and do whatever makes your life easier at the moment. You can't do everything so let others help. Take lots of pics." – Jennifer

Practical Tips That Actually Help

28. Don't overbuy baby clothes "Don't buy a lot of clothes. They grow so fast that I wish I would've bought fewer pieces for each size." – Julie

Babies live in onesies for months. Save your money.

29. Ditch unhelpful baby books "If a baby book instills worry instead of comfort and empowerment, ditch it." – Ashley

30. Binge-watch during night feeds "If you're going to be up nursing, find a series to binge watch in the middle of the night. It will help with the lonely feeling that often comes with 3am feeds." – Kayla

I watched entire seasons during those quiet, dark hours. It made the isolation bearable.

Keep Perspective

31. Focus on the joy "I wish more people would've been positive! You hear so much negative 'there goes your sleep/social life/showers/quiet' speeches get really old. Having a baby is pure joy even after the hard days and I wish I would've heard more of that. I always make sure to tell new moms to be how amazing it will be!" – Krystin

32. You won't love every moment "You don't have to love every single second. Some moments you will actually despise. But it is all worth it." – Elaine

What This Advice Really Means

The common thread in all this wisdom? Lower your expectations, trust yourself, ask for help, and know that the hardest parts are temporary.

The newborn phase is survival mode. You're not supposed to have it all figured out. You're not supposed to look put-together or feel competent every minute.

You're supposed to keep a tiny human alive while running on minimal sleep and raging hormones. That's enough.