I’m 28 weeks pregnant this week, so I’m officially in the third trimester. This means I kind of need to know what I’m doing and be prepared to do it…And, pretty soon.
I have no idea what I’m doing.
My husband and I had a conversation last night that went something like this:
Husband: Did you register for bottles?
Me: Yes, I registered for EVERYTHING.
Husband: Did you get the good ones? That Dr. something brand?
Me: Um, I don’t think so. I mean I registered for playtex I think. I was trying to keep it basic. Oh, but I didn’t register for a bottle warmer. Should I do that? I mean, don’t you just use the microwave?
Husband: If you want to give our baby third degree burns…
So, yea, I have no idea what I’m doing.
So this morning, I found myself googling how to heat a bottle. (I know. How sad is this?)
And googling how to heat a bottle somehow turned into googling “what happens during birth.”
Holy. Mother. Of. Pearl.
This resulted in a few things:
- Several texts to mommy friends for verification that this nightmare called birth would be as unpleasant as described.
- 3 new baby books purchased from Amazon
- a new to do list
- And, a lot of internet searching ( Episiotomy, Signs of Labor, Stages of Labor, Pitocin, what to pack in the hospital bag and what happens in the first 24 hours after the baby is born)
But, I do feel a little better. I don’t feel prepared, but I feel a little better.
I attribute a lot of this to the need to just “feel prepared.”
I’m often told how intuitive this all is when the baby is born, but, for me, I need information.
So, here is my list of things that helped me feel a little more prepared for all of this.
1. Ask other Moms
Ask your friends who recently had babies. Join an online group just for moms. I did both, and it has helped tremendously.
Other moms love to give advice, so when you feel unprepared, solicit some. It’s much better to solicit the advice now than to wait for the unsolicited advice to come when the baby is here and the hormones are raging.
2. Google ONE question at a time
Be careful with Google because it will lead you down the rabbit trail I went on today, but Google is great for a basic question that requires a basic answer. (I would not suggest googling birth. Too much. Too scary.)
3. Read pregnancy sites designed to make you feel NORMAL
Pregnancy blogs can make you feel more prepared with tips and tricks without making you feel like you have to be supermom and have this all figured out right now.
Books written by doctors can often seem very rigid and provide overly “safe” answers, and all their chart tracking makes my inner perfectionist go a little nuts.
I hear that Pregnant Chicken is pretty good *cough*
4. Buy some books that don’t make you feel like a failure before you start.
I have Baby 411 and What to Expect, but they both make me feel overwhelmed.
I feel like I should be taking notes on everything. They tell you EVERYTHING, but you really don’t need to KNOW everything.
I suggest buying topical books once you feel like you have a baseline of information. I just bought a book on breastfeeding and a book on labor. I don’t know enough about either of these two topics, and these other doctor books will still be there when I have a question about scaly skin or weird rashes. But, for now, I need to take one topic at a time. Here is a great list of suggestions.
5. Get stuff done so you can de-stress.
We all have a lingering to-do list while pregnant. And it only exacerbates the feeling of not being prepared.
I like lists, but then I often just stare at them. Make that dang list right now and start crossing items off. Some items on my list include 1. organizing baby shower gifts, 2. washing baby clothes and organizing the closet, 3. putting up curtains in the nursery etc. etc. Once some of these items are accomplished, I think I can relax just a bit more.
Hopefully, this little list helps coax you out of your minor panic attack as it did me.
Anything else you'd add to the list?
Also check out: Baby Prep Kit: Everything To Do Before Your Newborn Arrives
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