45 Parenting Quotes That Will Make You Laugh, Cry, (or Both)

Let's be honest: "Shit Happens" probably covers most of the parenting experience. And yet, there's real wisdom to be found from people who've walked this road before us – some of it inspiring, some of it hilarious, and some of it just plain true.

I went down a proper rabbit hole trying to make sure I wasn't quoting horrific people, and eventually decided to focus on the quotes themselves. Hey, a broken clock is right twice a day. Hopefully, you'll find something here that speaks to whatever kind of day you're having.

Whether you're knee-deep in toddler chaos, surviving the teen years, or bleary-eyed with a newborn, there's a quote below for you. I've added my own notes because some of these need context, a little side-eye, or a small disclaimer about hemorrhoids.

On the Big Picture of Parenthood

There is nothing like a newborn baby to renew your spirit and to buttress your resolve to make the world a better place.

For the record, I don't think we use the word 'buttress' enough.

Babies are bits of star-dust blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth for she has held a star.

Kinda cool but I'm still not sure if it counterbalances hemorrhoids.

A baby is a blank check made payable to the human race.

This one got real deep, real fast but I love it.

A baby fills a place in your heart that you never knew was empty.

I find this quote especially helpful if you're worried about having enough love for a second baby.

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.

I don't know why I felt like this quote was on the edge of being offensive – maybe a hint about being a mother is an identity – but I did truly feel a shift in who I was after I had kids.

Parenting: the days are long, but the years are short.

You don't feel this one until the years pass.

A baby's smile is a language that can melt anyone's heart.

I'm sure there is always one grump, but this is weirdly true.

A baby is cuddles and tickles on toes, the sweet smell of powder, a kiss on the nose!

So sweet.

On Slowing Down

A baby is always a good excuse to slow down and enjoy life for a little while.

So true. Life goes a lot smoother if you're able to slow down to baby speed.

I think dogs could give them a run for their money

A baby's laughter is pure and heartwarming, and can make even the grumpiest of people smile.

Nothing like those baby belly laughs.

Parenting is not a sprint, it's a marathon. It takes a lot of patience, a lot of energy, and a lot of love.

Pace yourself.

On Love

Babies are like little suns that, in a magical way, bring warmth, happiness, and light into our lives.

Aw! You are my sunshine.

Being a parent means loving your children more than you've ever loved yourself.

So corny, but still true.

A baby is a bridge between angels and humans.

There's a great devil joke in here but I don't want to be a turd around this lovely sentiment.

A baby is a little bit of heaven on earth.

They can be hell on earth too but that makes for a less charming quote.

Babies are the links in a chain of love that binds together families past, present, and future.

I suppose this isn't always true, but I love the idea.

A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for.

Contrasts all around.

Parenting is the biggest sacrifice one can make. It’s putting your life on hold to fulfill the promise of your children’s tomorrow.

I think there is a fine line between 'sacrifice' and 'martyrdom,' but I get where this is coming from.

For New Parents and Milestone Moments

A baby is a blessing. A gift from heaven above, a precious little angel, to cherish and to love.

A beautiful sentiment if you're writing a note or looking for a quote for a christening.

A baby is God’s opinion that the world should go on.

I'm not going to get too deep on this one and just take the lovely sentiment at face value.

A baby is the beginning of all things—wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities.

A lovely quote if you're congratulating a new parent.

If your baby is beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand – an angel all the time – you're the grandma.

You know who you are!

With every newborn baby, a little sun rises.

The future is bright.

Babies are such a nice way to start people.

It would be even nicer if they slept longer.

On Raising Good Humans

A baby is something you carry inside you for nine months, in your arms for three years, and in your heart until the day you die.

I don't know if I find this quote inspiring or terrifying, but it's true.

A baby is a blank canvas. Whatever you paint on it, that's what the picture is going to be.

No pressure.

Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see.

I may or may not have cried over this one.

Parents need to fill a child's bucket of self-esteem so high that the rest of the world can't poke enough holes to make it dry.

And self esteem ain't arrogance.

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.

Respecting your child's parent is a good idea on all sides.

Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved.

Good lesson for life in general.

The Ones That Are Just Plain True

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one.

I also find people who offer up unsolicited parenting advice typically have had a full night of sleep.

Parenthood is the easiest thing in the world to have an opinion about, but the hardest thing in the world to do.

It's easy to criticize the game when you're sitting in the stands.

Babies are always a lot more trouble than you thought – and more wonderful

They are so very troubleful.

Parenthood is like a huge reality TV show, except that everyone is the star and the cameras never stop rolling.

I feel like there's more drama and crying.

Do what you feel in your heart to be right. You'll be criticized for it anyway.

Just visit any parenting forum.

Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.

You said it, Ed.

There is an instinct in a woman to love most her own child – and an instinct to make any child who needs her love, her own.

This took me a couple of reads, but then I was all in.

Giving birth and being born brings us into the essence of creation, where the human spirit is courageous and bold and the body, a miracle of wisdom.

If you are looking for something a little more profound.

A baby is born with a need to be loved – and never outgrows it.

A lovely reminder to anyone surviving the toddler or teen years.

A baby's first step is into your heart and stays there forever.

One small step.

Before I got married, I had six theories about raising children. Now, I have six children and no theories.

I was a great parent until I had kids.

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.

Applies to every aspect of life, not just parenthood.

Add to the List

What's a parenting quote that inspires (or sustains) you? Drop it in the comments — I'd love to add more to the collection.

You might also like: The Hilarious Reasons Pregnant Women Cry